Author: temporalparadox

You’ve Got Mail

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You've Got Mail. Warner Bros. 1998.
You’ve Got Mail. Warner Bros. 1998.

Before watching the movie: The late 90s, a time when the internet was just beginning to be a thing normal people used, when it was beginning to be treated like the post office or telephone and nobody had a business interest in controlling access to it.

PSA aside, a time when the internet was new but probably safe enough, not something fearful. A time when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan could be Hollywood’s most bankably romantic couple yet again by somehow meeting online without knowing each other’s real identity, and this is a good thing. Yay technology. Continue reading →

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother

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The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother. 20th Century Fox 1975.
The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes’ Smarter Brother. 20th Century Fox 1975.

Before watching the movie:

This movie is incidentally legendary in my family. I’m told I saw a few minutes of it at an extremely young age until my mother realized she shouldn’t be playing it in the presence of someone so young. So this is the Ur-example of movies I haven’t seen because of good parenting.

The combination of Gene Wilder and the Holmes mythos is an odd one, but both of them individually are reasons to take an interest, so hopefully they merge successfully. I expect the reason Wilder’s character is “Sigerson Holmes” when Mycroft Holmes is a canonical character who is actually smarter than Sherlock is so they have more room to do what they want with him, but I hope Mycroft at least gets a mention.  I think the Doyle estate still had American copyright over Holmes characters, so this might be a legal loophole as well.

I think somewhere around the house there’s still an off-air recording of this movie (which has most of the title on the label, but always seemed less like a title and more like a placeholding description), but even if we had a working Betamax player, I don’t like to review from off-air recordings since scenes get cut for time and content, and commercials break the flow in an unintended way. I saw this float through the library again and decided it was time.

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Short Circuit

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Short Circuit. Turman-Foster Company 1986.
Short Circuit. Turman-Foster Company 1986.

Before watching the movie:

I’m a bit surprised at the fact that I only heard of this movie in the last decade. An eighties comedy sci-fi(ish) adventure about a cute robot coming to life seems like the sort of thing I would have been watching once a week as a child. In fact, I only became aware of its existence and cult status after meeting the internet hivemind that loves this movie.

Now that I’m actually going to watch it, all I can think of is that lightning doing magical things to machines seems dated even for the 80s.

 

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Patriot Games

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Patriot Games. Paramount Pictures 1992.
Patriot Games. Paramount Pictures 1992.

Before watching the movie:

Terror plot, Harrison Ford, action, that sort of thing. I expect it to be exciting. I’m looking forward to it, but not in ways that seem to be able to fill a page.

I should probably be comparing this to The Hunt for Red October, but I didn’t even remember that Jack Ryan in that film was Alec Baldwin (I was remembering Martin Sheen for some reason).

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Ben-Hur

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Ben-Hur. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer 1959.
Ben-Hur. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer 1959.

Before watching the movie:

The Ten Commandments is an Easter tradition for many people. The connection seems tenuous to me, but there’s a thread there. I’ve already seen “Commandments”, so I won’t be reviewing it here, but it has me following another connection, that you can already guess at due to the title and the picture to the right.

In my mind, that film is much more strongly linked to Ben-Hur than to Easter, but on examination, it seems circumstantial. They’re epics, set in Middle-Eastern antiquity, informed by religious legend, starring Charlton Heston. It seems accidental, though possibly the success of one got the other made. While I don’t know of it being an Easter tradition like its cousin, if anything, this one should be more Easter-related, since it actually has a few scenes with Jesus.

On the other hand, its overall reputation is more like CHARIOTS CHARIOTS CHARIOTS.

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Anonymous Content 2004.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Anonymous Content 2004.

Before watching the movie:

The basic plot seems attractive enough, as I’ve always been fascinated by explorations of mind and memory. I was even more interested when I learned about the dream imagery included. And I’m interested in Jim Carrey, even though I’m pretty sure he’s in a purely dramatic role here.

The reason I’ve never gotten to this is because it seems entirely concerned with the emotional drama, which is something I’m rarely in the mood for, especially at a feature-length scale. And so it’s now eligible to be among the movies this blog has given me a kick into seeing.
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The Desert Fox

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The Desert Fox. 20th Century Fox 1951.
The Desert Fox. 20th Century Fox 1951.

Before watching the movie:

Every story has at least two sides. Erwin Rommel fought on the side of the Nazis, and was a major opponent in Patton, but was himself a distinguished military leader with an interesting story to tell. Though how much of it is accurately told here is debatable, as for obvious reasons this movie apparently focuses less on killing Allied soldiers and more on a plot to assassinate Hitler that Rommel may not have actually been involved with. Even less than a decade after the end of the war, that’s as close as the rest of the world wants to come to celebrating a Nazi officer, which they wouldn’t even dream of doing today.

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Flash Gordon

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Flash Gordon. Starling Films 1980.
Flash Gordon. Starling Films 1980.

Before watching the movie:

I’ve been wanting to see this movie ever since I learned while reviewing Highlander that Queen did music for it. That is the biggest selling point of this movie for me, and will likely be the best thing about it, even if it does turn out to be an effective update of a campy adventure serial. I’m just not sure this sort of thing can be done seriously anymore.

I was surprised to learn from the box that Flash is a football player. Some quick research showed that in the original comics, he was a polo player, so that’s not a big change. I never picked up on him being an athlete. I should probably invest more time in familiarizing myself with source material.

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My Favorite Brunette

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Not my favorite poster. (Don't worry, this is the first time I've used Alt Text.)
My Favorite Brunette. Paramount Pictures 1947.

Before watching the movie:

“Noir spoof” sells. Bob Hope as a wannabe detective gets in over his head in a real case.

All I really have to say besides that is that I hope that handlebar caterpillar in the poster is a disguise, not worn for the entirety of the movie. But I doubt it.

Another selection from the great big box of movies loaned to me by my grandparents.

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How to Frame a Figg

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How to Frame a Figg. Universal Pictures 1971.
How to Frame a Figg. Universal Pictures 1971.

Before watching the movie:

So here’s another Don Knotts vehicle. This time, corrupt politicians are trying to cover up their embezzlement by hiring the most inept bookkeeper so they can pin it on him. Unfortunately, they hired a Don Knotts character, and we all know Don Knotts characters are the blind pigs that find the motherlode of acorns.

I hope when he does figure it out, he’s more proactive. Knotts roles tend to just be buffeted by the sweep of plot and partnered with someone competent.

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