Author: temporalparadox

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Castle Rock Entertainment 2002.

Before watching the movie:

I was vaguely aware of this movie coming out, and it looked vaguely interesting, but I couldn’t really tell much about it from what I saw. This poster, which is just about all the promotional material I saw at the time, tells you that it stars Eddie Murphy, that he’s having adventures on the moon, and it looks vaguely like throwback to the Flash Gordon serials.

This has since become known as one of Eddie Murphy’s biggest flops, which is a distinction with a lot of competition from the 90s through the 00s. I always got the idea it was either not the movie audiences wanted it to be or didn’t hit the tone it was trying for, or both. I can certainly see Summer 2002 being a very bad time for an homage/parody of 30s pulp sci-fi.

Continue reading →

The Conqueror

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
The Conqueror. RKO Radio Pictures 1956.

Before watching the movie:

This movie was probably forgotten for a while except as a strange footnote in John Wayne’s career. However, it’s been seized on due to the fact that it was filmed downwind from nuclear bomb testing, which leads more and more people to discover the bafflingly bad idea of casting Hollywood’s most famous Cowboy to lead in an epic on the origins of Genghis Khan.

On paper, it sounds bad, but hardly any movie deserves to have this much ridicule heaped on it. Most of the people mocking it haven’t even seen it. One thing I like to do with this blog is give movies a chance at the minor redemption of pleasantly surprising one hobbyist critic on the internet, so this was an irresistible pick.

Continue reading →

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Northern Lights Entertainment 1992.

Before watching the movie:

I don’t recall who made them, but I think this has appeared at least close to the top of lists of the worst movies of all time, which has always attracted me to it. What does it take to make a movie that bad? I’m sure Stallone fans were really disappointed to see him being embarrassed by his mother instead of blowing away mooks with dual-wielded machine rifles. But is the whole problem that it wasn’t what audiences wanted, or is it really just a bad movie? I’ve always wanted to find out.

Continue reading →

When We Were Kings

temporalparadox1 Comment
When We Were Kings. Polygram 1996.

Before watching the movie:

I had heard of the “Rumble in the Jungle” before, but I didn’t really understand it as much more than a trivia question. A sport, two names, and a date. Honestly, whenever I pictured it, something more like the cover to “Superman Vs. Muhammad Ali” came to mind, and that’s all.

I had no idea there was a documentary about it until I went looking for theatrical documentaries. Now that I know, of course there would be a documentary, but I hadn’t heard about it before. Even though it didn’t come out until late enough that I would have been around to hear about the release.

Continue reading →

Man on Wire

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
Man on Wire. Discovery Films 2008.

Before watching the movie:

I was fairly aware of this documentary coming out at the time, but I didn’t really know much more than the image on the poster. At some point I heard that the high wire walk was done without permission, and when the police showed up to arrest him, he spent a while walking back and forth to whichever tower the police weren’t on top of and dancing in the middle.

I never really put much thought into what kind of preparation would have gone into setting up a tightrope where you’re not wanted, let alone just getting into the place. I suppose there would be a documentary in that story.

Continue reading →

F For Fake

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
F For Fake. Janus Films 1973.

Before watching the movie:

I may have only heard of this film a few days before deciding to add it to my checklist (after thirteen years, I finally made a list that’s not just in my head or bookmarks on a streaming site). I know that it concerns Elmyr De Hory, an art forger so skilled and so prolific that the art market would like to pretend he doesn’t exist, and that it was made by Orson Welles, which caught my attention. Especially when I was looking for older theatrical documentaries, which are surprisingly hard to find recommendations for.

While Orson Welles is highly talked about as an actor and director, it occurs to me that his broadly known legacy doesn’t seem to extend much beyond War of the Worlds and Citizen Kane (and an infamous rant outtake on a frozen pea commercial). I was going to say this isn’t one of his better known works, but then, not much seems to be better known.

Continue reading →

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
The King of Kong. Picturehouse 2007.

Before watching the movie:

I remember hearing about this movie back when it came out, but I didn’t realize at the time that it had just come out. The underlying story is still generating headlines because new developments continue coming out, which I believe is that somebody turned out to have cheated, and that wasn’t known at the time. I haven’t followed the news too closely because I was always slightly interested in getting around to seeing the movie.

It has this reputation of being a big deal documentary for video games, an epic clash of the titans underdog video game story. I’ve seen how documentary crews can gin up events to make stories better, and I’ll be interested in picking apart the story from the truth, or the truth as we know it now.

Continue reading →

Watership Down

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
Watership Down. Nepenthe Productions 1978.

Before watching the movie:

If there is one thing I know about this movie and book, it’s that they traumatized a lot of children. I know there are rabbits, and I think they go to war, and the horrors of that war are not shied away from. I have to confess that with the sum of that information, I always pictured rabbits holding rifles on a battleship or submarine. When I first heard the title, I pictured an airship crashing, which was especially silly because an airship is not a watership. But anyway, nobody seems to want to discuss what it is aside from “cute rabbits experiencing The Horrors” so I don’t have any idea what to expect.

That poster does look pretty bleak and existential though. I have strong Ralph Bakshi movie vibes from that design, but it might just be a late 70s aesthetic.

Continue reading →

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

temporalparadox1 Comment
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas. Dreamworks Pictures 2003.

Before watching the movie:

Nobody wanted this movie, nobody saw this movie. I didn’t want it and I didn’t see it. I was completely unthrilled by the concept when it came out, and it still doesn’t excite me. But it was the last straw for traditional animation at Dreamworks, so I always though I’d eventually give it a chance, and now I am.

It’s such a generic pitch, I don’t even know what to expect, beyond probably not that great a depiction of Sinbad, since I understand the legendary figure as an Arabic or Middle Eastern sailor and he’s played by Brad Pitt. I don’t really know anything about the traditional character beyond that except for whatever I retained from that Popeye movie that I think had him as the villain, which I also don’t expect would be the most faithful.

Continue reading →

Akira

temporalparadoxLeave a comment
Akira. Tokyo Movie Shinsha 1988.

Before watching the movie:

I’ve heard the title of this movie thrown around a bit, but I never really understood much more. I didn’t know if it was a movie or a series or what, probably anime but maybe not. I assumed it was action, and probably grim and gritty, and that’s about the end of what I thought I knew, until I saw it called out as being extremely influential on Eastern and Western animation alike, and as the referent of that one motorbike slide that’s everywhere in animation.

It turns out this seems to also be the source of that “Neo-Tokyo” I’ve heard about. And this is probably why some of the names I hear come up a bunch in Anime circles come up so much, but I don’t know what Japanese names are more generic versus more unique.

Continue reading →