Die Hard

Die Hard. 20th Century Fox 1988.

Before watching the movie:

I feel like I know so much about this film/franchise, but as I sit down to write, I realize I know hardly anything. I think this is the one with Alan Rickman as the bad guy, there’s a big logical flaw with the bad guys’ plot, and Bruce Willis’s catchphrase is R-rated.

I’ve been told this is a Christmas tradition for some people. Even if it does go down at an office Christmas party, the connection seems tenuous. On the other hand, it’s a better connection than Hoosiers has, and I know certain TV stations would leave that one on loop over Christmas so they could go see their families.

Some surprises even before I begin: I didn’t realize it was this old (I thought it was early-to-mid 90s), and Willis is doing action and not shaving his head. He looks like Nicholas Cage like that.

Continue reading

Popeye

Popeye. Paramount/Disney 1980.

Before watching the movie:

Popeye, cartoon legend. Robin Williams, cartoonish legend. Still, while nobody does “animated” like Williams, he’d hardly be my first choice for the salty, mumbling strong man of the sea, especially at the peak of his cocaine-addled supersonic phase.

On the one hand, this was around the time he was doing Mork and Mindy, so arguably the funniest part of his career. On the other, Mork is very different from the Popeye I know. I don’t doubt he can do the character, I’m interested in seeing how he keeps it up in a film I think I’ve heard described as “surprisingly bleak.”

Continue reading

Blade Runner

Blade Runner. The Ladd Company, 1982 (2007 recut)

Before watching the movie:

Few movies have such radical differences between the theatrical version and the Director’s cut. In fact, the only one I can think of that comes close is Star Trek: The Motion Picture. In order to split the difference, the version I’m watching is “The Final Cut (2007). It’s probably the same in intent to the Director’s Cut, but I believe in putting the director’s intent on the screen, so I chose the latest version for the same reason I prefer widescreen over fullscreen.

Anyway, I read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, and I’m expecting to see a familiar element here and there in a completely repainted world.

Continue reading

Young Einstein

Young Einstein. Warner Brothers Pictures 1988.

Before Watching the Movie:

Rarely do I come across a movie I know nothing about that has me asking questions. Young Einstein is one of those movies. Australian comedian Yahoo Serious plays a character the box assures me is named Albert Einstein, who is apparently a genius bum, but I don’t know if that’s THE Einstein or another one, or if it’s even set in the early 20th century or contemporaneously.  I don’t know if I’m going to be laughing with the movie, at the movie, or just crying for the loss of a physicist’s dignity.

Continue reading

Big

Big. Gracie Films/20th Century Fox 1988.

Before watching the movie:

Once again, an 80s classic with an iconic scene.  Another fantasy comedy. Recommended by the Zeitgeist and provided by a browse through the local library.

I expect to like this film, so I’ll probably be slightly disappointed. I’m not sure if I’ve seen any of Tom Hanks’s early comedy roles before, but even knowing about them, I wouldn’t have necessarily picked him for a story about a kid in a grown man’s body. It reminds me a little of Forrest Gump, but without the depth.

Continue reading

Who’s Harry Crumb?

Who's Harry Crumb? Frostbacks/NBC Productions 1989

Before watching the movie:

One thing I love about browsing for movies, especially from online streaming sites, is the ability it gives me to find films I know absolutely nothing about. I’m used to watching movies that I already know many details from because of trailers or various online sources. Who’s Harry Crumb? is a movie I found in a streaming service’s collection that I’ve never heard of. It stars John Candy, who is apparently a bumbling detective. It sounds madcap and slapstick, so this should be pretty fun.

Continue reading

The Blues Brothers

The Blues Brothers. Universal Pictures 1980.

Before watching the movie:

Somehow, this movie started as a Saturday Night Live routine. Now it’s a cult classic slightly more mainstream than Wayne’s World. Why? I haven’t a clue. That’s why I watch these movies.

It has Dan Akroyd and John Belushi (or as I know him, Jim Belushi’s father). Apparently they wear cool suits, and they play Blues, though their family name actually is Blues. This routine lasts two and a half hours (though apparently I have the extended version).

Continue reading

Brazil

Brazil, Embassy International Pictures/Universal, 1985.

Before watching the movie:

This is a film I’m not so much looking forward to seeing as having seen. I’ve read summaries of the plot before, and the only thing that made sense was how bleak and depressing it is.

I know Terry Gilliam makes weird, often bleak films, so I can’t say I expect to be proven wrong, but at least it should be funny, or else darkly satirical.

Why else did I choose this film? Well, I needed a 1985 movie for related reasons I can’t disclose at this time, and this was very handy.

Continue reading

RoboCop

RoboCop. Orion Pictures Corporation 1987.

Before watching the movie:

Robocop probably isn’t in the Canon, but it’s big enough that it at least gets a “How Did You Miss It?”

What I understand of this film before seeing it is that there’s a policeman who gets the nightmare version of the Lee Majors/Inspector Gadget treatment. From what I understand, when he gets blown up and put back together with bionics, he’s more machine than human, and dishes out harsh justice unstoppably. Also the future looks like 1982.

From what I can tell, the appeal is violence and explosions, which aren’t my thing. Then again, I probably don’t have that great a grasp on the story, so we’ll see.

Continue reading

Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian. Dino de Laurentiis Company 1982

Before watching the movie:

I always thought this was an action movie. I expected Arnold Schwarzenegger to basically just run around all buff and kill people and there would be a plot that facilitates that. Looking at the box, it seems this is more of a fantasy, and it’s apparently based off a comic book, which from my experience with non-spandex comics means this is going to be much deeper than Mortal Kombat with Austrian accents.

More ways I was wrong on the other side of the link.

Continue reading